We Are All Beyoncé
By Michelle Hyde
It all started after my wedding. I was elated, on a high and dancing on clouds. A couple of days later, I met with all my work colleagues for morning tea, to show photos and debrief on the night’s events. After going through the photos and accepting their lovely compliments about how I looked, we got onto how I was feeling and how my new husband was coping with his promotion.
I told the girls about a comment I had made to my new husband, in jest, the morning after our wedding. I had spent the morning singing a line from a Beyoncé song, cleverly quoting my favourite queen:
“You ain’t married to no average bitch, boy”
Ahhhhh Queen Bey – so eloquent, such class, and one sassy chick. God I love her. I delivered this anecdote to my clan, proudly expecting clapping and cheers and a chorus of laughter and sassy agreements.
However, instead of a chorus of agreement, I heard embarrassed and muffled chuckles. Some rolled their eyes, some giggled anxiously under their breath. Then one piped up with a humorously outraged comment:
“God you think a lot of yourself, don’t you!” she exclaimed, shaking her head and laughing.
This was followed by laughter and table slapping, more giggles and a couple of embarrassed glances around the room. While I was too shocked and confused to respond, another friend tactfully changed the subject and the conversation flowed onwards, as it so often does when a group of women get together.
All of these ladies are all highly intelligent, professional, kind and genuine people. They’re wives, sisters, aunties, mothers and daughters. They’re women. Yet when I admitted that I believe myself to be better than average (even if it was in jest and through the use of my idol), it’s like I was declaring out loud that I am perfect. I’m the most incredible and perfect woman in the world, more balanced, more together… and above all, that I have value. That I am worthy.
There seems to be an idea among women that we’re not allowed to think that we are worthy, that we’re amazing. We’re not allowed to be proud of ourselves. We’re not allowed to boast about our achievements. We’re not allowed to actually say the words “I believe that I’m above average”. If you do, you’re viewed as boastful, needlessly admitting that you believe in yourself and that you’re a worthwhile human being. Instead, we live in a society that focuses solely on our flaws and faults, and while it’s perfectly normal and healthy to acknowledge these things, we neglect the wonderful and special elements of who we are. Women don’t seem to believe that they’re worthy of admitting this, or they think they need to earn their worth by doing something outwardly and visibly impressive in order to proclaim their brilliance. Women are brilliant. Full stop. You do not need to prove your worth to anyone in your life. None of us should.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that perpetuates this ideology, but Time’s Up. We need to be able to not only lift each other up, but lift ourselves up. We shouldn’t be shunned or ashamed to openly say that our partners, children, siblings and friends are lucky to have us. Because they bloody are.
So, in going forward, I want you all to say this to yourself in the mirror tomorrow morning, and I want you to believe it. Tell your best friends, the women who lift you up, your partners, colleagues and children. Shout it from the rooftops because everyone needs to know that this is how women feel about themselves:
“I am a wonderful, wise, genuine, generous, brilliant, balanced, magical, marvelous woman. Every single person in my life is lucky to have me. I am BEYONCE!”