Swiping Your V-Card

By Paige Stewart

“I think the concept of virginity was created by men who thought their penises were so important it changes who a woman is.” 

There is soft, romantic music playing in the background, the lights are dimmed, flickering candles are strewn across the room, the two teenagers with perfect bodies are in love and ready to lose their virginities. They kiss for a few seconds and then it happens. It’s sensual, loving and passionate. The girls face has a subtle smile, love in her eyes. But this is a movie. 

There is no music playing, and if there is it’s probably not your taste, the lights are bright and all your impurities are 100% visible, you and whoever you’re about to have sex with are fumbling around experiencing a new kind of intimacy (you’re probably so nervous you’ve forgotten what your name is) someone pulls out a condom and you awkwardly look at each other, whatever passion you had going is fading rapidly, he puts it on and then it happens. There are numerous attempts until you start to get a rhythm going. It lasts for a minute or two and he collapses next to you. You think to yourself “oh, was that it?” This is real life. 

Although the awkward fumbling is not the case for everyone, it is the case for most. Nearly all the women I’ve spoken to have had the real life experience and look back at it either laughing or cringing. Losing your virginity is not the end of the world, but rather the beginning of a new one. Some people prefer to believe that it has to mean something and that it has to be special and with someone you love. Others believe that sex is extremely overrated and although it can be special and mean something, it’s never quite the extravagant experience it’s cracked up to be. 

Megan Fox tweeted “we live in a society where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity” and I agree, I’d have a panic attack if I lost my phone, my virginity - not so much. 

Losing your virginity doesn’t change who you are, it doesn’t change how you look. It opens up a part of your life in which you can enjoy a different kind of intimacy with another person that you didn’t have the luxury of enjoying before. You decided that you were ready and wanted to have sex, THAT IS OKAY. As I said before, the world is not going to end, a new one is simply going to begin. 

So many girls are afraid to lose their virginities. They’re afraid of being slut shamed, they’re afraid that it will hurt (which if you’re properly aroused and comfortable enough - it won’t) and that isn’t right. Are boys too scared to have sex because of the backlash they’ll get? Are they told it’ll hurt and they’ll be impure afterwards by people trying to prevent them from liberation? NO. I’m not telling all the female virgins reading this to go have sex with anyone, if you’re ready and mature enough to start this part of your life - that is YOUR choice and nobody else’s business. If you’re not - that is YOUR choice and nobody else’s business.