Shaming Slut Shaming

By Paige Stewart

I’m not a saint, I have slut shamed girls, frequently finding myself doing it subconsciously. Slut shaming has always been and still is a predominant issue. 

Just recently, after having an argument with a friend of mine, she slut shamed me. “I don’t like that fact that you sleep around." I was shocked that a friend would do that to another friend; more so, I was shocked that my value as a person was measured by my “number." I reminded her that we were in fact living in 2017 and that no matter what I chose to do, she did NOT have any right to judge me about it and I didn’t have to justify myself to her in any way. 

It’s unfortunately so ingrained in our minds and in society that a woman who has sex or is open with her sexuality is a “slut." It’s weird. What is a man called when he sleeps around? Normal. A legend. “The man." When I think of this topic, a triggering saying comes to mind, “a key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock." 

A girl who wears ‘revealing’ clothes is “asking for it” or “slutty” but if she covers up she’s a prude? The double standards give me headaches. I’ve spoken to girls who tell me they’ve had sex and then beg me not to tell anyone because they’ll be labeled as a slut. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had a boy tell me not to tell anyone he’s had sex. 

When people say “raise boys and girls the same way” it doesn’t necessarily mean that there shouldn’t be “boy colours” and “girl colours” or that there shouldn’t be a generalised range of toys - barbies and babies for girls, tools and guns for boys - but rather that there shouldn’t be such a massive difference between what is and what isn’t acceptable for boys and girls. If it’s okay for boys to sleep around, it should be okay for girls to as well. If it’s okay for boys to be open with their sexuality, it should be okay for girls to be as well.

If I have a daughter one day, I want her to be able to express herself however she feels she needs to. It is so sad that women repress their desires for fear of the label they’d receive afterwards. 

A piece of advice: if you find yourself judging a girl for what she’s wearing or what she’s done, ask yourself “what is actually wrong with that?” If you can’t find an answer, congratulations. You’re the future.