I Don't Masturbate, And That's Okay

By Katiee McKinstry

I don’t masturbate, and I’m really, really insecure about it.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this article, because here at Funky Feminist we are very pro-masturbation. I am pro-masturbation, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t masturbate myself. What? How can that be? Honestly, I have no idea. It’s almost like I don’t have the time, but we all know that’s what we say when we need a go-to excuse. So, I guess, I am writing this for those feminists out there who are like me.

Yikes, okay, here we go.

When I was in high school the popular thing to do was phone sex/sexting right? Even then, I was still fumbling around sexually and didn’t know what I was doing. So, dry humping my bed was the move. That’s the extent of what I’ve done, and here’s why. When I became an adult and my libido picked up, instead of masturbating I would often find a way to be around my boyfriend and fool around from there. I’ve never been sexually frustrated because I don’t masturbate.

I’m constantly worried that this isn’t healthy behavior, and that I should be masturbating regularly. However, I know that many asexual people don’t masturbate, and also people all over the world don’t. They live happy, healthy lives. Masturbating just… doesn’t appeal to me. In the realm of self care, there are so many other things I do in a day to take care of me. Why do I need to masturbate?

If you masturbate all day long, go you. That’s absolutely amazing and I’m here for it. It’s just not for me, and that’s okay. I didn’t really realize that it was okay not to masturbate regularly until I sat down to write this article. Whew.

Now that I got that off my chest, can we talk about how interesting it is that masturbation and self care have become huge themes within feminism? That’s so fucking rad, that we can have open and honest conversations about sexuality and it be included in the movement for equality. I love being able to talk to other feminists about their sex lives, because it really shows how each of us is a little bit different. I’ve never really talked to another feminist that doesn’t masturbate. Maybe this article will change that.

If you’re a feminist out there that doesn’t masturbate, you’re not the only one. It’s okay, it’s normal, you’re normal.