Don't Point At My Insecurities

By Hellen Akinyi

I know I’m not perfect -

I was walking home with a friend the other day, and we came across a little girl who looked about seven to eight years old. She was chubby and super cute-- there’s something about a chubby kid honestly that makes you so happy. What’s also so special about a kid who’s chubby is how confident they tend to be, or maybe they are not so confident but they are just being kids. Whatever the case may be, the fact that they are comfortable with their bodies and not worrying about what the other person might say about them makes them powerful. I love it.

My friend waved at the little girl and said a comment about her body, the little girl as innocent as she was smiled while I frowned. To my friend, the comment she made wasn’t a big deal because that’s what “she says to her” everyday even in front of her mother and her mother laughs. Don’t get me wrong cause I ain’t questioning the Mother’s ability to raise her baby or how competent she is as a mum, but I wouldn’t be happy if someone teased my child for being chubby.

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How I took the point my friend made was that she will point at the little girl’s “insecurity” because her mother is okay with it and only because it’s a joke and this little girl is not only a child but also her friend.(Any thought comes to mind about a certain someone or the few times you tripped and did the exact thing with the same excuses?)

As human beings we tend to be ignorant. We make comments about everything: how someone is doing this and not that, how we see it as wrong because we don’t agree with it, and we forget that we are all different and from different backgrounds. We were taught different things and we don’t have to fit in by doing the same thing the other person is.

We’ve been brainwashed by what we see on magazines and TV shows on what or a “perfect body” should look like, and if that’s not how the other person is then they ain’t good enough. My friend happens to have that “perfect” body: skinny, flat tummy, curvy enough, fine ass… and that’s why in her eyes, this little girl needed to get “some work done” and loose some weight.

Honestly to me that is absolutely ridiculous. I frowned because we are all humans and no one is perfect. We tend to be so ignorant with what we say, and we don’t even take a minute to reflect and see the outcome of what you say will be.

How many times have your friends pointed out something in you that made you doubt yourself? That made you literally go and lock yourself in your room because you feel you ain’t good enough? I know what the answer is on my end.

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We forget that, our kids will grow up exactly how we raised them, what we fed their minds with and how we made them feel about themselves. Especially when they become teenagers, because as a teen you have a lot going on already, trying to figure out who you are, and having someone at the edge of your seat pointing out the obvious, to which you may or may not be insecure about won’t make it better.

Apart from disagreeing with so many people who like pointing out other people’s insecurities, i also feel bad for them, they are human and they are ignorant, (y’all grab a book and stay busy) and at some point, to them, saying a mean comment to someone makes them feel a whole lot better. That is sad.

Thank you captain obvious for being so ignorant. Stop pointing out my insecurities, I’m human, and I’m not perfect.

Love and light.