You Did What In Your Pants?! - An Article On Masturbation

By Autumn Morris

So, let’s get real. There is a SERIOUS lack of masturbation talk these days. Jerking off, busting a nut, beating your meat, diddlin’ the clittle fiddle, beating the bishop, WHATEVER you want to call it - it’s not exactly table talk. I mean, do we really live in a world that is afraid to talk about pleasure? And more specifically, female masturbation and female self-pleasure?

The TV and Film industry displays sex, rape, prostitution, pregnancy, teen pregnancy, abortion, and STDs; and rightfully so as these all represent real aspects of the human race’s sexual experience as a whole. However, the topic of masturbation, specifically female masturbation, is largely underrepresented leading to a deficit in conversation and acceptance. It can be assumed that because masturbation is not a prominent conversation in society, few are educated on it’s value. So, today I challenge you to overcome that educational barrier and take a minute or two to see if it would benefit you.

Masturbation not only increases self-esteem, familiarizes yourself with your sexual desires and is a completely safe way to enjoy sexual activity without the fear of pregnancy or STIs, but also it can help with medical issues. Tired but can’t sleep? Masturbate. Have a headache that medicine can’t cut the edge off of? Jack the beanstalk. Period cramps? Flick the bean. Stressed? Indulge in some hand-to-gland combat.

In my opinion, masturbation is outstanding and a great way to get in tune with your body and sexuality. It’s a celebration of yourself and your life-giving organs. Masturbation should be something celebrated and expected of any human regardless of their gender, orientation, etc. if it’s something they desire to do.

So, what do I do?


Find a setting that you feel most comfortable in and treat yourself as you would treat a sexual partner. After all, you ARE your own sexual partner during masturbation. Caress yourself, tease yourself, rub yourself, squeeze yourself, SEDUCE YOURSELF BOO! Experiment and see what types of touch and stroke arouses you the most. Discover the most sensitive parts of yourself and pleasure them. Play with toys, water, lubricant, anything that is safe and excites you. Masturbation comes down to allowing your body to produce self-love and pleasure.

Maybe you don’t see the actors and actresses in your favorite show getting caught masturbating. Maybe your Instagram feed isn’t filled with people of all identities sharing the self-love they’ve found in themselves through multiple self-induced orgasms. But just because masturbation representation isn’t a thing at this moment, that doesn’t mean it can’t be with a simple conversation.

Masturbation is not unladylike. It is not perverted. It is not dirty. It is not unhealthy. It is not abnormal.

Masturbation is celebration, so let’s celebrate.