Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

By Katie Golway

My therapist and I have been talking a lot about power, in and of itself, and how to regain it. Power is something that is difficult to retain, but painfully easy to give away. Glamorizing the idea of the “revenge body” through the media is veiling the fact that the sole purpose behind it is to make someone else jealous. It is simply toxicity promoting further toxicity. With all your effort, how you feel when you look in the mirror is not guaranteed to change. There may be a high, a momentary blip of satisfaction, but at the end of the day the work you put in was not even for you.

Let me continue by saying that I am not above being angry when I am wronged. It has taken a lot of therapy and self-reflection to realize that lingering in those emotions was still giving the other person my power and my energy. I believe the recent discussions I have had with my therapist about power were what inspired my instinctive recoil when when my friend mentioned her “revenge body.”

I told her (nervously) that she should focus on making these strides for herself and her future, from which this person will undoubtedly be absent. These important steps are meant for making her feel better, for growth, and better health. Perpetuating the idea of a “revenge body” is equating self worth to the idea of making your ex attracted to you as an end goal. If you have cut that toxicity out of your life, keep it far away from you and promote your own self love.

A phrase that everyone has heard from time to time is, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” What could come of that if the beholder is not yourself? As someone who struggled with self image since I was young, I try not to associate anyone else’s opinions of me, or evil words with my own growth. In 2018, people should promote growth within oneself, beyond the lackluster inspiration of impressing someone else whose opinion does not matter. In 2018, we are learning to love ourselves the way we deserve.